In a moment where the moment of our moments appears,
I take a breath to celebrate the moment, and it is the moment!
I face the times which are not the moments for us, with some momentums to remember. It was a moment to remember yet can not be outcropped,
nor be turned back, for sure.
It was more than a moment only to remember, but to keep it all the time to be the spirit, to cheer the days without moments with you, with moments (not only) to remember.
With less power to walk upon, I am trying to have moments to remember all the moments of afternoon: tea, talk, kiss and love. Those are moments for me, which I am missing.


To remember the afternoon moments of me, of ours.
at the edge of one island, May 29, 2005, 11:26 A.M.

Feeling like bringing myself back to the routine could indeed not shed the tears. I was not bringing even a day, moreover a year but a short moment that really sticks to the ground of mine deep indiside.

I was weeping silently when I found everything the same in appearance and the way it works and should work. My brain conspires in it and thinks clearly and with full logic behind that. The result was a big smile and a deep breath that was spiritful. The faces of the upland and donwland poor people were in the full thought, my only think at that moment. Poor, not in terms of how much earned, but how much can be done by the people; and I am one of the donwland poor people with dreams of changing it.

Thus, do not want to ever sorry for the things on their way, but do think about the way to make new ways.

Happy going back in less than a day of my life!

In Indonesia's scientific forest, 11:32 A.M,
I am weeping.

Koran lokal itu sudah terbaca,
Huh, mengapa mesti baca? Apa yang kudapat
selain gerakan perpindahan mata dari satu huruf ke huruf yang lain.
Itu saja, tidak ada semangat!
Menyesal aku, mengutuk, namun kemudian aku tertawa akan aku!
Membuai ku dalam hayalan bacaan yang lama, yang aku sendiri tak mengerti,
hanya gambar mati berwarna kiasan, tapi aku suka, dan aku belajar.
Aku teriak melihat halaman depannya!

Kutermenung dan kubangga, kutatap lama gambar itu.
Dun… aku disini dun.
Kamu tidak sadar akan kehadiranku, dun?
Sadar, kudengar dun berbisik kecil, “kurasakan api kamu”
(Dun mengirimkan bunga esok harinya, dan kupakai di telingaku)
Aku akan jauh dun, dan kamu tidak akan menangis melihatku pergi, bukan?

Dan dun pun menangis sesunggukan, ku ingat banget
(kuingat cara kamu berkata banget)
Saya tidak mau takut, begitu katamu kepadaku,
Dan kamu tidak boleh takut, begitu kataku kepadamu.
Siapa peduli aku takut? Begitu tanyaku ke pada mu.

Jika nanti aku kesana dun, aku akan menjumpai mu lagi,
Membaca koranmu, melihat gambar, dan menikmati seluruh pemandangan dirimu.
Hanya sebagian yang tersibak, kusibak, dan kamu sibak.
Dan aku masih sangat penasaran dengan sisa.
Menangis aku ingin berjalan dengan mu dun,
Jika kamu bisa rasakan, maka getaran di hatiku ini sangat berasa hebat

Dun, aku masih belum puas banget
Dan dun, kamu jangan menangis melihat aku jauh.
(kamu tidak akan menangis, aku tahu)
Tapi jangan tertawa melihat aku terseok-seok mengenangmu, sedih.

Karena ku berjuang buat kamu dun,
Meski kamu setuju namun tak bahagia, mengkerut.


Indonesia's Newfoundland 07 Mei 2005, 05:41 P.M
Buat dun, Dunatelly Mary Antonionette.