Tuesday, February 28, 2006

professor berkontak lens

Berbicara dengan kamu, seperti berbicara dengan professor tak berkaca mata, tapi professor dengan kontak lens berwarna biru. Kamu punya otak, kharisma, nilai dan modernisasi bercampur menjadi satu. Tidak menggombal, tapi saya senang dengan seorang yang bisa menampar saya dengan keras, dan memberikan saya banyak pelajaran dengan beberapa menit obrolan denan kamu.
Saya ingin berbicara langsung dengan kamu, alah akunya dianggap penipu. untung nggak dianggap playboy.
Saya salut dengan cerita cinta setengah mati dan menampar setengah mati. salut.

walah, entah apalah aku ini didepan matamu.
hihi, kutunggu kamu. ok?

buat gadis dengan rok kotak-kotak biru (warnanya biru yah?)
8.37 malam. alah. apa-apaan sih ini?

dear evening

you are the evening; so, dear you,

not so long and I have seen you grow for the recent days. I am only me, small and will probably remain small in your eyes. You are the giant and I am the small creature like in the cartoon, you can just play with me, throwing me up in the air and catch me with your power.
I think it is not fair to compare me and you: where you have been and what experiences you have had, and it ends to a feeling of being small, of my being small.
Look how childish I am, I feel that you are in the moon and I am just entering the moon, with the most power I have. I feel that you dig me too deep and find out about my past. It is something not to take into account, that lets live the recent life, live for the future, the future that we will not have. (i think I should not write 'Look how childish I am'). Why childish? because I force something that must not happen to happen to me, because I neglect everything for you, I have crossed the culture and the custom and I have ignored the messages in my head. The last one is not childish, but it was a no-fear to step!

Shall we just go on with the agreement we had? okay, I will meet you in that taxi corner. I will let the door open, so that you can just come in. Nobody will follow. Lets just hide, and dont think what will be after that. I am enjoying my world with you considering me small.
trust me, I am not small.

from me,
the morning glory.


for the evenings and the mornings, 07:05 pm.

the rhytms

The rhytm brings me to the nights, to the hugs and to the lovely kisses we had, and to all those nights we had in that how-many-story? building. I could feel the trembling heart of mine, listening 'heart of mine' while feeling the beat of the heart of yours. It is not years ago, but it is like years ago and it is like pain every night, not having you looking at the stars from the inside, watching people as you said, while I kept on insisting on looking at the stars.

the rhytm brings me to that early morning without birds singing outside that how-many-story? building. You were the sleeping beauty and I was the gentle and caring watcher, not dare to wake you up. And I am sorry that kissing you woke you up, i never meant that. Instead, I was enjoying watching you sleep, and waiting you wake up, and hugging and kissing me was the first thing you did, even before getting up. Lovely.

(I think you are lazy, always wake up later than me, because I do swimming in the morning? that is not a good habit, you know). Or you are not, it is just because of no night at the previous night. We also had some early morning talk, right?
But truly, I remember those nights, the endless nights I may say.



while listening the rhytms, you are playing!
+shiny 5pm, 28 february 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

capek

semua kerikil-kerikil itu telah kubersihkan dari jalan kecil itu, dan kamu tak ingat telah melemparkan kerikil-kerikil itu sehingga membentuk sebuah pola yang sempurna di tengah jalan kecil itu, yang sering kulewati? ingat? atau hanya merupakan lemparan-lemparan biasa seperti yang biasa kamu lakukan?
kamu tak tahu betapa susahnya menyingkirkan sebuah kerikil itu, dan mengumpulkannya menjadi sebuah pola yang indah?
hanya gumpalan kecil, tapi itu telah menyita penglihatanku di setiap langkah di jalan kecilku, mencari bayangan dirimu disemua kumpulan krikil yang aku buat.

datanglah, dan biarkan aku memelukmu hangat, membauimu dan membawamu ke sebuah percakapan tiada batas sepanjang malam. aku rindu kamu.

terjadi, dan biarkan terjadi lagi kan? dengan untaian kata yang membuat ritme kita sama, menyatu dalam sebuah untaian nada yang keras.

baik, tetaplah dalam setuju itu, memandangmu dengan sepenuh hati sepanjang malam, dengan ombak-ombak keras dilluar sana, tidak mengalahkan sorotan matamu ke mataku, tidak melepaskan satu detik dalam tiga detik.

sungguh aku capek merindu kamu, pulanglah, karena makan malam di tepi Chao Praya menunggu kita.

rindu kamu di kota ini, bangkok 27 Februari 2006, 08:04 pm.

Friday, February 24, 2006

a wish for the weekend

you walk very slowly, approach me and hug me from behind with your very strong smell which is around my nose at this moment.

surprise!

you whisper me with your laugh, tell me 'take me down town to night, only you and me and we will enjoy the red wine in that river bank', no sleep, no talk, only gaze to each other with little smile and we are cured, till dawn.
we will start our weekend tomorrow morning: talk and talk and talk, only you and me. movie? no, sleep first for some hours, sleeping while hugging. wake up, and never talk about monday, as we are having an endless weekend, only you and me.

are you here with me?
02:48 pm.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

jangan satu sisi

jika dihadapkan pada suatu keharusan, jangan menganggap remeh orang-orang sableng, pekerja-pekerja yang gila hip hop dan salsa-salsa, dan orang-orang yang bertingkah seperti anak kecil dan anak-anak gila dengan bungkusan wangi-wangian ratusan dollars. Canda-candaan di siang hari dan petang hari yang penuh dengan kegilaan akan berubah menjadi suatu kesempurnaan yang diungkapkan dalam tulisan-tulisan yang bagus. sungguh saya tidak menyangka kamu bisa melaporkan dengan begitu sempurna, dengan kata-kata yang indah mengundang komentar. kerja yang bagus, saya harus mengatakan itu. beberapa sisi dari seorang dan banyak manusia, membuat saya tersenyum kecil saat ini.

Eksplorasi dari beberapa sisi manusia, dan maafkan saya telah salah menafsirkan arti canda dan tawamu, dan ciuman-ciuman mautmu ke beberapa orang, termasuk ke saya. Heh, begitu mudahnya dan murahnya kamu mengatakan ini itu ke banyak orang, dan lihat sekarang: betapa mahal nya tulisan-tulisan kamu, betapa tinggi kualitas integrasi otak dan jari-jari mu, membuat saya kagum.

hanya sebuah pikiran pagi buat teman gila saya. beradalah dalam satu keharusan, dalam satu misi, dan saya akan merindukan kegilaanmu di dekatku, menatap bangunan-bangunan tinggi itu, atau menikmati aktifitas orang-orang lain di sisi lain dari bangunan itu, di pagi hari, di malam hari, disaat semua orang terlelap dan disaat kita baru memulai hidup kita, diskusi dan bercerita tentang hidup kamu, hidup aku titik. dan hidup kita di masa datang, itu yang sering kita langkahi, malas aku, malas kamu, malas kita, dan kita lihat saja nati. begitu bukan?


kamu bilang aku gila. enak saja!
dibawah sinaran pathumthani, pagi jam 10:33.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

mencari nama

setiap kali, ku bolak balik panah-panah kecil itu.
nama ku tidak ada dalam daftar itu.
setiap kali, ku bolak balik panah-panah itu turun dan naik, kiri dan kanan,
namaku masih tidak disana.
aku terlupakan?
atau karena kesusahan menghafalkan nama indonesiaku?



saya muhy, dari indonesia, pengagum kamu!

jatuhan pagi, bangkok 220206, 09:34 am.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pag-ibig sa Leyte



Hindi inaasahan ng kahit ninuman ang trahedya at hindi na rin inaasahan na may matatagpuan pang buhay sa pangyayari.

Ang mga grupo ng mga humanitarian mission ay nagdadala ng pagmamahal sa bawat isa. mula sa mga nagmamahal para sa isang minamahal, at mula sa isang pagmamahal tungo sa isa pang pagmamahal.

Nawa y bawat isang nilalang ay dapat matagpuan, at hayaang ang aking pagmamamahal ay sumaiyo sa bawat hakbang na iyong tatahakin.


------------
bukan di tanah sendiri, tapi air mata ini menetes dengan sendirinya,
karena kulihat cinta dalam beberapa gambar di tanah Leyte.

Ekspresi dalam tagalog yang dalam, karena beberapa hal menghubungkan saya dengan tanah tagalog, tanah (runtuhan runtuhan tanah) yang membawa saya memikirkan cinta, hidup dan manusia.

------------

...... from people to other people, from one love to another love and from one love to one love...
may every single living creature be found as it should be found, and let my love be with your body in every step you make...


it is a love and disaster, mixed.
in an intercontinental building, 21 February 2006, 04:33 PM

Monday, February 20, 2006

Against tea-lover's right

I should have not expected to have clear tea or chosen of varieties of tea in Dhaka. When you say tea, please, it means you will get strong dark tea with much sugar and sometimes (most of the time) with milk poured in it, though you do not ask for it.


I can not define at first whether it was coffee or cappuccino or tea served. It was tea indeed and above is how it looks like. It is against tea-lovers right.

Missing my tea in Dhaka, 14 February 2006

Dhaka - Accha Accha

Am I in Bangladesh?, that was what I thought when I first landed my feet on Dhaka International airport with its unfriendly (at least to the Bangladeshi who seem not knowing about standing in line) and scary-look guards. As told by my Bangladeshi colleague I travel with, the condition is now much better compared to lets say five years ago. At that time it was not computerized yet thus the immigration officers had to manually type or type by hand. Consequently, it took more time for one to complete the registration: 15-20 minutes each. If you were standing in the sixth, you can have a 2-hour sleep instead of waiting in line, while standing.

Like usual, I went to pick the cart for putting my suitcase and some boxes containing papers and publications of the organization I currently join. I had two carts and none of them worked when loaded. When it is empty, it works though not stable creating some eik eik eik sound. It was finally done, get the suitcases and welcome to Dhaka!

It was the haze (later I was told it was fog) that surprised me and made me ask myself whether I was in Dhaka or somewhere in Europe. Indeed it was humid and windy, thus a bit cold. It was around 12.30 in the afternoon, the sun shone yet the fog was quite thick enabling the limited sight of human. The front hall of the airport itself is fenced and I could see many people standing in the other side of the iron fence like people standing in the prison, or we are in the prison. The entrance gate to the hall is guarded by four or five black scary Bangladeshi guys as well as at the exit. The airport pick up arranged by the place where I stay is so much unbalance with the outsiders. This is common in developing countries, I think: you can see people in good car and people in no car a.k.a the walking people with some burdens to carry. I was a bit jetlag to see many people walking in the dusty air of Dhaka, and most of them were unfortunately poor (in terms of living un-decent life, not the mental I believe). As if I were in Africa as most people walking were black as common southern Asian people. It was the first time seeing the man-power rickshaw ride which I think is quintessential Bangladeshi experience.




Rickshaw is a tricycle pulled and paddled by a man where the passengers sit at the back. It is in normal condition for two persons but in fact 4 even 5 people can go in one time. It is like a pedicab or becak in Indonesia but the difference is that we sit at the back in the higher position enabling us seeing the surrounding. The rickshaw riders are very strong, I can say and their life must be very hard, I believe.

Do not expect to have a bluebird-like taxi in here as the number is very limited. Alternatively, you can have small cabs with green or black colors. The black ones size is as small as Mr. Beans car and the green one is exactly like bajaj in Indonesia. The only difference is that it makes softer sound and not a dazzling sound like bajaj makes. Also, it creates less smoke as they use natural gas. It is also common in here to see busses with words written This bus runs use use natural gas.

On the way to Baridhara, the district where I stay, I saw the very bad traffic. The road was dominated by the rickshaws except in some roads where they are forbidden. But still, cab drivers make it bad, seems not wanting to queue or riding in line. With the dust on the road (hence the walking paths at the edge of the street is brown instead of its original grey color) the condition was even worse as people blow the horn of cars very easily. Once one wants to move, the first thing to do is probably blowing the horn of the car. Even worse, some green cabs also provide loud south Asian music. Everything is in the air: dust, noise and music. Looking at the walking people, I saw most of them spit everywhere they want. Damn! The place where I stay is indeed in the embassy complex and very close to American Embassy, which is like a fort with tall strong wall in the surrounding. I was about to take picture when I saw warning not to take picture. What? Against photographers right!

I was able to see some night markets in Dhaka after the 2 hours meeting with an Urban and Regional Planning Professor in one top university in Dhaka. The sellers was quite forcing when attracting buyers and later I found that we had to show some courage to look at their eyes and say NO!. they seem to be rough but indeed no, they dont. They are friendly and for sure they are disappointed but they would not get angry if after fitting and opening the folded clothes, we do not buy theirs. They understand that customers are king, which is one thing I like in here. Waiting for the yellow taxi (the best taxi in here) was useless. Indeed, I took the green one (bajaj-like one) with meter inside, surprise!. The meter works very well and it is a combination of bajaj (open) and taxi (meter). I felt like lost when being brought by the cab driver to the place where I stay and I felt dizzy because of the surrounding sound and the sound of the horns of cars and people yelling at each other. What I thought was welcome acne onto my face. Arriving at the room 107 Asia Pacific Hotel, I enjoyed watching sport channel showing Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy. Thinking about the plan for next days made me tired and I was overslept with UNICEF 2006 Agenda open and unfilled for two days. I woke up after about half an hour sleep. That was the time when I realized that I miss you much. It is not good to sleep alone, like the song I do not like to sleep alone, stay with me dont go.

Your face is all around Dhaka, 13 February 2006.

Some other pictures of Dhaka are one click away.

Friday, February 17, 2006

pribadi

minggu bencana, tidak seharusnya tercampur-campur dengan pribadi. Biarlah sang ahli itu terbang kesana-kemari, dan kesana lagi, tak pernah kembali, pun untuk mengingat diriku.
Antara satu orang aku dan seribu orang dia, antara seorang aku dan seorang dia, dan kris kros menjadi jawaban dari semuanya. Tidak ada lagi aku dan dirimu dalam sedikit hari ini. aku pergi kamu datang, aku datang dan bencana itu datang.
semuanya menjadi sempit dan dalam sekarang, aneh dan ah, selamat tinggal saja buat bencana.

susah untuk tidak mencampur-campur kan antara egois dan sosial.

menangis karena bencana, 17 februari 2006.
+++ saya merasa aneh dengan postingan ini.

Friday, February 10, 2006

(again)

One, two, three.
Oops, I did it again.


(for you I will)
Hua Hin Beach-Pathumthani-Bangkok
10 February 2006, 08:22 PM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

things come and go




People come and go, things come and go as well.
Going to big city brings good things. In my case, brings two times bad things.
I lost my first SONY digital camera in Christmas Time in Rome 2003 with the newly bought memory sticks inside and some rare coins in the bag for collections. It was a lesson for me as I lost some memories inside, and of course the camera itself.

Last weekend was a bad weekend for me. Again, I lost my Pentax Optio S Digital Camera which has been my travelling company, one I sleep with and one I bring always to everywhere I go. It was bought in Koln after some extensive search (for cheaper price) and has been with me for two years and in fact, it is really my travelling company, really. Shed a tear for it.

Good bye my pentax, I am going to miss you, and of course it is hard to replace you: money matters and memory matters.

Guys, do not be a pickpocket, not a good job!

++ Bangkok with condolence, 10:05 AM ++

Monday, February 06, 2006

buat 'bapak'

Derungan itu masih di ujung telinga ini, dan jabatan itu masih hangat di telapak tangan ini, dan buah itu masih terasa di lidah ini, dan bungkusan itu masih tercium baunya disini.
Derungan hebat itu masih membahana di telinga ini, dan tangisan-tangisan itu masih ada di kepala ini.

Buat bapak, maafkan saya.
06 february 2006, 07:20 AM